I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
