I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
