I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
