I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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