i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
