fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
