You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We have started to decorate penises.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
