i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
