i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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