? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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