Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
