I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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