i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
