it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
