evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
