Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
