your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
