theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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