dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
