C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
