Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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