thus making me awesome and them whores
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I lost the right to judge tonight
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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