You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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