She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
