i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
