You can't motorboat a personality
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
