so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
