dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
