chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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