bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize