pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
