I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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