That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
