'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
