Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
