1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
