i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize