ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
