It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
