And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
