erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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