Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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