maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
