Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize