yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
