Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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