I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
there is glitter all over my balls
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
