Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
