Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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