I'm lost and stupid without you.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
