I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Let's paint friendship bongs
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
