Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Randomize
