how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
