i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
