I will die if light touches me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
