i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
