I don't think brook has ever known best
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
