i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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