Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
