i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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